Tuesday, 19 July 2011

Special K Diet: Monday's Report

Get in! I feel like a new man! Today was fantastic - a few slip ups, I'll admit, but on the whole great.

Monday's are always busy days. I got up - reluctantly - at twenty five past six, after a blissful week of not having an early alarm call. I poured for myself a meager ration of Special K, and sorted out my bowl for lunch too. Whilst eating my breakfast, I checked my usual morning internet sites, to see if I had become an overnight sensation, an internet millionaire. I hadn't. Oh well. Got washed, got changed, headed out the door.

At half eight I had my usual Alpen Cereal bar, a delicious mix of chocolate, coconut and other things which combine to make a mouth wateing snack.

It was pretty warm - saying that, my job's pretty active, so regardless of the weather, I was warm. I drank my water like a sponge soaking up a spill.

Lunchtime rolled round quick. I poured the skimmed milk into my Special K, and let it soak for a few minutes, as I buried my nose into Jason Bourne's latest escapades in The Bourne Dominion.

After eating my gourmet styled luncheon, I moved onto dessert: two tangerines. Ah well, the life of a dieting man is not one of great luxury.

I refilled my bottle of water, anticipating a thirsty afternoon, but, surprisingly, it was not.

The afternoon was uneventful, and when I got home, I dragged the exercise bike from the kitchen to the living room. That was a workout in itself... I was so exhausted from the effort that I had to have a chocolate mousse... I fired up the PS3, loaded up FIFA10, and began cycling. The digital computer on my exercise bike wasn't working, as I had no batteries in it. What's with that, anyway? You never seem to have any batteries when you need them.... Anyway, I was on the bike for about 20 minutes, in which time I annihilated Sienna 6-0. I was Udinese. By the end, the sweat was running off of me in rivers. I was exhausted. But that didn't stop me from then firing up the Wii and going on Just Dance 2. I found Sweat Mode on there - pick any 3 songs, dance your socks off, and try to score more than 1000 Sweat Points.

I danced my heart out to Donna Summer's Hot Stuff. Don't know about hot stuff, but it was definitely hot in the living room! I then danced to a song by Vampire Weekend, and I can't remember what the last song was, but my total Sweat Points were 1200. Rock on!

Feeling good about myself, I went onto Wii Fit. After raking around for some batteries for the balance board, I proceeded to do the body test, which it asked me to do with my eyes closed. Surprisingly, I had perfect balance. Even more surprisingly, I had lost a pound. So now I'm down to 13st 12lbs, and a heart attack inducing 33.20 BMI. Nice.

I then had to have a cold shower to get rid of the casing of sweat that had built up over my obese body. By the time that was washed off, I was able to enjoy Wife's dinner: Pasta and garlic bread. That was washed down with some nice Bulmer's Pear Cider. For dessert, I had a Guu pudding, and then a couple of Werther's Chocolates.

All in all, it was a good day, but I slipped up towards the end.

I was well chuffed that I'd lost a pound, especially after my week holiday. I'm going to do the same again on Tuesday, so I'll let you know what happens soon...

I am The Dieting Man.

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