Thursday, 31 May 2007

Things You Would Never Know Without the Movies

Spiderman 3, Pirates 3, Shrek The Third - 2007 is definitely year of the Threequel. It just goes to show how much we love films - if we didn't, we wouldn't even have sequel, let alone a part three. But you know, it's not just that these films are entertaining - they are HIGLY educational. Consider these 53 facts that we would not know, had it not been for excessive movie viewings:

Things You Would Never Know Without The Movies - Extract from The Laughter File

1. During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
2. All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.
3. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
4. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place . No-one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.
5. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
6. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
7. Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.
8. Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
9. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
10. Creepy music coming from a cemetery should always be investigated more closely.
11. If being fired at by Germans, hide in a river - or even a bath. German bullets are unable to penetrate water.
12. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.
13. Freelance helicopter pilots are always eager to accept bookings from international terrorist organizations.
14. Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper clippings - especially if any of their family or friends have died in a strange boating accident.
15. All computer disks will work in all computers, regardless of software.
16. Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
17. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
18. You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
19. When driving a car it is normal to look not at the road but at the person sitting beside you or in the back seat for the entire journey.
20. An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight year old child.
21. Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.
22. If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert in Nuclear Fission at age 22.
23. The more a man and a woman hate each other, the more likely it is that they will fall in love.
24. You never need the keys to start a car if you are chasing someone.
25. You always need the keys, and can never find them, to start a car when you're being chased.
26. Latin drug lords love gold jewellery and all live in big houses in Miami and keep tigers as pets.
27. Local cops, or DEA, FBI, CIA always have a hard time finding Latin drug lords because the drug lords look and live like average citizens
28. Binoculars not only allow you to see better, but you can also hear what the people are saying
29. High school bullies in the sixties and seventies were all named Biff
30. Ugly people are never attacked by creepy murderers
31. Creepy murderers always have a limp and/or enjoy walking really slowly
32. No matter how far you run, drive, or fly, the limping creepy murderer will get there faster
33. Banks, as a matter of policy, always keep their cash inside bags to expedite the handoff to robbers
34. Security guards are always fat slobs who sleep on the job
35. All international conflicts can be solved by one lonely muscle dude in the span of ninety minutes
36. In a trilogy, the bad guys always win in the second movie
27. Italian households always keep the living room lights dimmed, and always have soft instrumental music playing in the background
38. Italian households consist of at least eight people
39. Italian families always argue at the dinner table
40. The female black sheep of an Italian family is always named Deloris and is always pregnant
41. The male black sheep of an Italian family is always named Richie and sells drugs
42. Hispanic households consist of at least eight children who share one bed
43. Underdogs in our society always grow up by the docks or the train tracks
44. Your hair will never get messed up in a natural disaster
45. Bad guys never carry enough bullets
46. On rare occasions when a good guy runs out of bullets, the bad guy that is about to kill him gets shot in the back by the good guys partner who rises from near death
47. High school principals are as dumb as artichokes
48. If a parent admits that a child of theirs is really special, that child will get run over by a car while bike riding around the neighbourhood
49. Although physically impossible, you can always hear spaceships explode in outer space
50. When looking something up in a book, it will always be on the first page you open up
51. Young idealistic people always end up being right
52. If you fall in the ocean, a shark will promptly appear and will want to eat you, even though most sharks couldn’t care less about humans
53. Even though you are being shot at by multiple enemies, they will probably never hit you, and if they did it would only be a minor wound

If you loved the above, you'll love The Laughter File - available from!

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Thursday, 24 May 2007

The Diet - Wednesday 23rd May 2007

Alrighty There People!

Well, today was bad. Not for the diet, for me. You see, I've got a cluster of skin tags on my neck - they haven't been too bad, but vanity got the better of me and I wanted to get rid of them. So Monday I toddled off to the doctors, and saw him about them. He said not a problem, I'll freeze them. It only takes 20 seconds each. Come back Wednesday. Great. So today, I again toddle off to the doctors for my 2.30 appointment. I wait patiently for the Doc, and get called into his office. There on the desk is a menacing looking cannister, resembling a black hand-held fire extinguisher. Gulp. He said it wouldn't hurt - he grabbed my hand, and sprayed onto my hand. Didn't hurt. Great.

So I expose my neck, and he started spraying at these six skin tags. Now, at first it felt like someone was blowing on my neck through a straw. Fine. But after about 15 seconds, it felt as if someone was blowtorching my neck. Not pleasant in the slightest. I was gritting my teeth.

"It might sting a little," the doc then chipped in. A LITTLE??? Hello! I'm on FIRE! Anyway, so then he's done them all.

"Are they off?" I ask, somewhat surprised.

"No no," he laughs. "It will take about 4 days. If, though, they are still there in 4 weeks, or if any more come, just come back."

So I drive back to work - and my neck now feels like there are a thousand forest fires raging on it. It's like I've been slashed with ten thousand razor blades. It's as though I have one hundred thousand paper cuts... okay, maybe I'm being a bit dramatic, but it did really hurt. I'm having difficulty turning my head. I get back to work, my boss takes one look at me, and sends me home. Woohoo! But it doesn't stop the pain.

I get home, my wife takes one look and backs away from me - physically backs away - as I have the plague. Then she takes the pictures (below). Not pleasant. My neck continued burning until about 8 oclock.

They're fine today (Thursday), although one of them - the huge one - was bleeding earlier. I'll let you know when they drop off.

Anyway, on to today's eating habits:

07:45 - Coco Pops with semi skimmed milk

08:45 - 1 glass of water

09:30 - 1 glass of water

10:30 - 1 glass of water

11:10 - 2 biscuits

12:20 - Pasta

12:30 - Chocolate yogurt

13:20 - 1 glass of water

17:00 - Pasty, potatoes, peas

17:20 - Chocolate yogurt

20:00 - 1 glass of water

21:00 - Chocolate ice cream

22:00 - Snickers

Okay, I didn't do too well today, but I hope to improve... Keep checking back on my progress!

Until tomorrow,

The Dieting Man


The Diet - Tuesday 22nd May 2007

Alrighty There People!

Tuesday was a good day. It was a long day, but it was a good day. I haven't been walking to work this week due to certain circumstances, but hopefully I will be doing that again soon. CORRECTION - Hopefully I will buy a bike at the weekend, so will be BIKING to work. Yeah!

Anyway, on to today's incomings:

07:30 - 2 Weetabix and Semi skimmed milk

09:15 - 1 glass of water

10:30 - 1 glass of water

11:40 - 1 glass of water

12:10 - 2 Cheese and cucumber rolls

12:44 - 1 banana

12:50 - 1 glass of water

13:45 - 1 glass of water

14:45 - 1 hazelnut yogurt

15:00 - 1 glass of water

15:30 - 1 cherry yogurt

16:00 - 1 glass of water

18:00 - Fried chicken, carrotts, potatoes

18:10 - Raspberry and Mandarin juice

18:30 - Cadbury's Dairy Milk Buttons Yogurt

22:00 - Black coffee

22:10 - Peppermint creme

So, I thought I did stupendously well today - that is, until I ate my dinner which was accompanied by the CDM Yogurt, and then on the evening when I got hit by a craving for some peppermint creme. Come on though, it's sooooo nice! But you can't beat Fry's Peppermint Creme - unfortunately I didn't have any of that.

Anyway, I was quite pleased with this today, and hope to see some good results from this soon.

Until tomorrow,

The Dieting Man

Job Security Quiz

Many of us have been there. Something just doesn't click with the new boss. Or maybe we're just horribly incompetent, or miserably incapable of performing up to standard. Whatever the reason, sometimes in our lives, we've got to calculate the odds of being given the boot. Take this quiz and find out your chances of survival in the job world.

1. The boss appears at your cubicle and finds you playing Need for Speed Carbon at
your desk. You...

A. Swear to take the game off your hard drive forever, but first make a copy for his kid.
B. Inform him that you're planting a virus in the program so that everyone who plays it on company time will get reported to Human Resources.
C. Tell him that whatever he wants will have to wait until you've finished the race.

2. There's a cushy job opening in the mail department, stuffing envelopes with free samples. It pays twice as much as your current position. What do you do?
A. Meekly suggest to your boss that transferring you might improve the morale of everyone who's been working with you.
B. Politely ask your boss for a transfer and offer to split the salary increase 50/50 with him.
C. Barge into your boss’ office and demand reassignment so that you “Won’t have to work under someone who should have retired before he became a laughingstock."

3. When your boss throws a party and invites everyone in the office except you, what do you do?
A. Stay home and watch “Only Fools And Horses” reruns
B. Show up at the party anyway, with a really expensive bottle of wine and a briefcase full of small, unmarked bills.
C. Go over to your boss’ house after everyone has left and throw rocks at the windows, shouting obscenities.

4. Your boss criticizes your work unjustly; what do you do?
A. Listen politely, and then apologize.
B. Blame someone else.
C. Climb on top of your desk, and hold up a piece of paper on which you've written the word "UNION."

5. When the CEO parks his car in your spot, you...
A. Wash and wax it, then leave your business card under the windshield wiper.
B. Key it ... then tell the CEO's secretary you saw your boss near it, loitering suspiciously.
C. Key it ... then proudly tell the CEO's secretary that you did it.

6. Your boss asks you to play Kooky the Clown for his kid's fifth birthday party, what do you do?
A. Offer to pay for the costume rental and cake, too.
B. Agree to do it, and then blackmail a co-worker into doing it while pretending to be you.
C. Agree to do it, then show up as yourself and tell the children that Kooky is dead.

7. Your boss' gorgeous daughter asks you out on a date. How do you react?
A. Tell her that you feel it would be unethical for you to date the boss' daughter, but that you would be honoured to pay for her to go to the movie by herself.
B. Go on the date, but then tell her you’re not ready for long-term commitment
C. Tell her you would love to go out with her, because you like cheap women, but you prefer them to be at least slightly attractive.

8. The boss accuses you of not keeping the office clean; you...
A. Clean the office while he supervises.
B. Tell him that you delegated the job, and then fire the underling you supposedly gave the job to.
C. Clean the office again, but this time, you use your boss' face.

Mostly A's: You have nothing to worry about. They'll never fire you because you're a doormat.
Mostly B's: You're not just going to keep your job, with your complete disregard for other people’s feelings, you’ll positively shoot up the ladder of success. Congratulations! You're a real jerk.
Mostly C's: You’re a career kamikaze. The boss would have fired you long ago, but he's terrified of what you might do.

This is another cool extract from the increasingly popular joke book The Laughter File - if you haven't bought a copy yet, you can get one right now from


Tuesday, 22 May 2007

The Diet - Monday 21 May 2007

Alrighty There People!

Well, as you may have noticed, I didn't blog any of my dieting activities last week - plenty of non dieting posts, but nothing to do with food, exercise or anything.

I must admit, the reason was that I had an 'off' week - I didn't feel like keeping track of it all.

However, one squint at the calendar, at the holiday looming, and then one look at the scales has prompted action - decisive action. I will curb my junk food, and participate in regular exercise. To that end, I am now actively hunting for a bike (ebay!), because an exercise bike is just no good. I used to ride my bike all the time - my greatest biking acheivement was the Whitehaven - Keswick - Whitehaven in five hours ride - a 50 mile trek. I was well chuffed with that!

Anyway, I'm going to try and be more healthy, by not taking junk food to work - just sandwiches, fruit and yogurts, and drinking more water. So how did I do with this? Check out my progress below:

07:15 - 2 x Weetabix with semi skimmed milk

09:10 - 1 glass of water

10:00 - 1 glass of water

10:40 - 1 glass of water

12:15 - 2 x white bread rolls with cheese and cucumber

14:06 - 1 hazelnut yogurt

15:00 - 1 cherry yogurt

15:30 - 1 glass of water

19:00 - Chicken Sweet and Sour with Rice

19:30 - 1 glass of diluted juice

19:50 - 1 chocolate yogurt

22:00 - 1 bar of peppermint creme

Okay, I did really well today until I hit the chocolate yogurt and peppermint creme - but that was all I did, and apart from that I thought that I did really well.

Oh, but I did throughout the morning snack on a packet of honey roasted cashew nuts - they were nice, which means they were probably bad....

Anyway, keep checking back on my progress!

Until tomorrow,


The Dieting Man

Monday, 21 May 2007

14 Biblical Ways to Acquire A Wife!

Apparently, this was going to go into The Laughter File, but the author decided against it - but it's still really funny.

So you're single, you want a wife - what do you do? Use one of these successful methods of securing for yourself a wife!

Top 14 Biblical Ways to Acquire a Wife

1. Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she's yours.-- Deuterononmy (Deuteronomy 21:11-13)

2. Find a prostitute and marry her.-- Hosea (Hosea 1:1-3)

3. Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock.-- Moses (Exodus 2:16-21)

4. Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal.-- Boaz (Ruth 4:5-10)

5. Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife.-- Benjaminites (Judges 21:19-25)

6. Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. Note: this will cost you a rib.-- Adam (Genesis 2:19-24)

7. Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman's hand in marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place. That's right. Fourteen years of toil for a woman.-- Jacob (Genesis 29:15-30)

8. Cut off 200 foreskins off of your future father-in-law's enemies and get his daughter for a wife.-- David (I Samuel 18:27)

9. Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you'll definitely find someone. (It's all relative of course.)-- Cain (Genesis 4:16-17)

10. Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest.-- Xerxes or Ahasuerus (Esther 2:3-4)

11. When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, "I have seen a ...woman; now get her for me." If your parents question your decision, simply say, "Get her for me. She's the one for me."-- Samson (Judges 14:1-3)

12. Kill any husband and take HIS wife. (Prepare to lose four sons though).-- David (2 Samuel 11)

13. Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow. (It's not just a good idea, it's the law).-- Onan and Boaz (Deuteronomy or Leviticus, example in Ruth)

14. Don't be so picky. Make up for quality with quantity.-- Solomon (1 Kings 11:1-3)

Great stuff. For more of the same, get The Laughter File - link on the left.

Back to the diet though - I had a 'week off' from it last week, but you'll be pleased to know that I'm back and I'm determined to lose lots now. I'm going really healthy and going to be doing lots of exercise - and I am to buy a real bike next week (if you want to contribute to that, please feel free!

Anyway, keep checking back for more updates.

Until tomorrow,


The Dieting Man

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Friday, 18 May 2007


Alrighty There People!

Well, viruses come thick and fast - they change every day, but this one - it nearly got me. My up-to-date virus definitions missed this one. My email protection didn't kick in. I very nearly lost everything - and I mean EVERYTHING.

Be warned - it's not a nice one.

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Work Out Your Star Wars Name!

Well, it's two week's to the day since Intergalactic Star Wars Day, and I know that many will be feeling the pain. So I thought to cheer up you space hopping fans, I'd post this cool name generator. You may have to grab a pen...

How to determine YOUR Star Wars name:

Your New First Name:
1. Take the first 3 letters of your 1st name.
2. Add the first 2 letters of your last name.

Your New Last Name:
3. Take the first 2 letters of your mother's maiden name.
4. Add the first 3 letters of the city you were born in.

Your Star Wars Honorific Title:
5. Take the last three letters of your last name and reverse them.
6. Add the first three letters of the make or model of your first car.
7. Insert the word "of".
8. Tack on the name of the last medication you took.

So I am March Miwel, Relfor of Nurofen!


Post your Star Wars Name in the comments.

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Thursday, 17 May 2007

Bored? Take the 3 Minute IQ Test!

Bored? Alleviate that boredom, and stretch those mind muscles, by taking this simple IQ Test. But be warned - things aren't always as they seem...

IQ Test

1. Do they have a 4th of July in England?

2. How many birthdays does the average man have?
3. Some months have 31 days; how many have 28?
4. A woman gives a beggar 50 pence; the woman is the beggar's sister, but the beggar is not the woman's brother. How come?
5. Why can't a man living in the USA be buried in Canada?
6. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow's sister? Why?
7. Two men play five games of checkers. Each man wins the same number of games. There are no ties. Explain this.
8. Divide 30 by 1/2 and add 10. What is the answer?
9. A man builds a house rectangular in shape. All sides have southern exposure. A big bear walks by. What colour is the bear? Why?
10. If there are 3 apples and you take away 2, how many do you have?
11. If you have only one match and you walked into a room where there was an oil burner, a kerosene lamp, and a wood burning stove, which one would you light first?
12. How far can a dog run into the woods?
13. A doctor gives you three pills telling you to take one every half hour. How long would the pills last?
14. A farmer has 17 sheep, and all but 9 die. How many are left?
15. How many animals of each sex did Moses take on the ark?
16. A clerk in the butcher shop is 5' 10'' tall. What does he weigh?

Before the answers, a cool picture...

1. Yes
2. One
3. All of them (12)
4. The beggar is her sister.
5. He can't be buried if he isn't dead.
6. No - because he is dead.
7. They aren't playing each other.
8. 70
9. White. The house is at the North Pole so it is a polar bear.
10. 2 – You have taken two away.
11. The match.
12. Half way. Then he is running out of the woods.
13. 1 Hour
14. 9
15. None - Noah took them on the ark, not Moses.
16. Meat

Enjoyed this? Much more available in The Laughter File, available in paperback here. And for each copy sold, money is donated to BBC Children in Need. Cool!

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Wednesday, 16 May 2007

Death of a Motorcycle Rider in 1.42 Seconds

We all know that a small vehicle generally has a significant disadvantage during most accident situations. Lack of mass and compact physical dimensions often account for serious injuries under conditions where, had they been in a larger vehicle, the injuries would not have been so significant.

What About the Poor Motorcyclist?
He operates in a stream of traffic with hazards far more extreme than those confronting the occupants of a small vehicle. He has minimal structural vehicle protection and often comes into direct physical contact with the opposing vehicle. Unlike the motorist, who is enveloped in the protective shield of his passenger
compartment, it is the motorcyclist's body that serves as the energy absorbing structure. His fate so often depends on the nature of the impacted structure and the chance orientation of his body as it strikes the vehicle/object.

Consider the Effects of a 40mph Impact into the Side of an Emerging Car:
As the motorcycle contacts the front door of the car the inertia of the front wheel is such that it penetrates 6 inches into the door

15ms (milliseconds):
The wheel contacts its engine. The rider starts to slide forwards on the seat.

The motorcycle frame experiences a deceleration of 39g. The front wheel continues to crush further into the door of the car and it collapses as the engine starts to penetrate the side plane of the car.

The maximum penetration reaches 34 inches. The motorcyclist's knees are buried into the side of the car whilst he is still in a seat posture after sliding forward onto the fuel tank.

His legs sustain a deceleration of 71g. The pivotal action of the knee contact rotates the rider to a standing position bringing his chest forcibly against the 'A' pillar.

He experiences a deceleration of 109g. The sudden deceleration of the chest flails the head forwards over the top of the car; the helmet strap stretches.

The face strikes the roof at 105g. Following this the helmet latch disengages depriving the rider of head protection during any subsequent collision with the car or road surface. The motorcycle and rider fall motionless to the road.

TIME ELAPSED - 1.42 seconds


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Death of a Car Driver in 7/10ths of a Second

I’ve blogged a couple of articles over the last day or so on driving, speeding, getting tickets, evading tickets – even evading getting stopped in the first place. But now I just want to stop and point out a chilling reality – speed kills:

"John Collins, 38, of 210 Hill Place, was instantly killed last night when his car struck a tree on the main road, two miles east... "

Daily newspapers carry thousands of new items similar to this every year. It is a tragically common form of death, but one of which very little is known.

Distinguished medical experts have written detailed post-mortem reports on crash victims. The primary reason for these reports was to reduce fatalities by making cars safer, more ‘crash proof’. Out of it have come recommendations for safety belts, different types of steering wheel etc. But out of the report has also come something else; the terrifying picture of what happens to steel and glass, to flesh and blood, in those last split seconds when a human being is hurled into eternity.

This is a slow motion, split second reconstruction of what happens when a car travelling at 55 mph crashes into a solid, immovable tree:

1/10th OF A SECOND:
The front bumper and chromium radiator grille collapse. Slivers of steel penetrate the tree to depths of one and a half inches and more.

2/10th’s OF A SECOND:

The bonnet crumples as it rises, smashing into the windscreen. Spinning rear wheels leave the ground. The radiator disintegrates. The wings come into contact with the tree, forcing the rear pads to splay out over the front door.

In the same second tenth of a second:
The heavy structural members of the car begin to act as a brake on the terrific forward momentum of the body, but the driver’s body continues to move forward at the vehicles original speed. This means of force of 10 times gravity his body weight 3200. His legs, ramrod-straight, snap at the knee joint.

3/10th’s OF A SECOND:
The driver's body is now off the seat, torso upright, broken knees pressing against the dashboard. The plastic and steel frame of the steering wheel begins to bend under his terrible death grip. His head is now near the sun visor, his chest above the steering column.

4/10th’s OF A SECOND:
The cars front 24 inches have been completely demolished, but the rear end is still travelling at an estimated speed of 35 miles per hour. The driver's body is still travelling at 55mph. The engine block crushes into the tree. The rear of the car, like a bucking horse, rises high enough to scrape bark of low branches.

5/10th’s OF A SECOND:
The driver's fear frozen hands bend the steering column into an almost vertical position. The force of gravity impales him on the steering column. Jagged steel punctures lungs and arteries. Blood spurts into the lung.

6/10th’s OF A SECOND:
So great is the force of impact that the driver's feet are ripped from his tightly laced shoes. The brake pedal sheers at the floorboards. The chassis bends in the middle. The driver's head smashes into the windscreen. The rear of the car begins its downward fall, with spinning wheels digging into the ground.

7/10th’s OF A SECOND:
The entire, writhing body of the car is forced out of shape. Hinges tear. Doors spring open. In one last convulsion the seat rams forward, pinning the driver against the cruel steel of the steering column. Blood leaps from his mouth. Shock has frozen his heart. He is now dead.



This afternoon – Death of a Motorcyclist in 1.42 Seconds

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Tuesday, 15 May 2007

Speeding: Evading The Cops

Stay alert!!!! Speeding requires concentration if you don't want to get caught.

Keep your eyes peeled for police cars, as well as unmarked vehicles - look for video units, twin rear view mirrors.

Slow down in areas where you can't see what's on the hard shoulders.

Don't pass other drivers at high speeds. They could be an off-duty copper.

Slow down when approaching other cars, and pass them at a steady pace. Watch in your rear-view mirror, cars you pass should be receding. If they began to pick up pace, slow down.

If there are other cars going by at higher speeds, take advantage of it! Get in behind them with plenty of distance between you and follow for a while at a slightly slower speed. Blend back into the traffic after a period and wait for another to come along.

Don't keep up a sustained high speed. This is self-explanatory. The longer you go at a very high speed, the more likely you are to be caught.

Drive a nondescript vehicle. Police are only human! They're more likely to go for that shiny yellow Porsche then a dirty grey Volvo. Avoid sporty cars with bright colours. But remember - everybody hates boy racers.

DISCLAIMER: The Dieting Man Does Not Condone Speeding.

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Speeding: Caught on Camera and Your Court Appearance

If You Were Caught On A Radar Gun
Ask to have a look at the radar gun and check that the gun displays the speed that you were stopped for. If possible, get the make, model and serial number of the radar gun. Ask the officer to demonstrate that the radar gun is calibrated (he will probably not do this, if not assume it is not calibrated and use it as evidence). Do not regard self-diagnostics as accurate, Radar guns are calibrated with a pair of tuning forks, and only this external test may be considered accurate. If the officer refuses to demonstrate the calibration, ask him to prove that he has tuning forks in the car (he will probably not be too happy at this point, but he can not do anything, your requests are legitimate). If he doesn't, tell the judge because this
means (at least in your eyes) that that the gun is not calibrated.

If You Were Caught On A LIDAR Gun
Ask to have a look at the radar gun and check that the gun displays the speed that you were stopped for. If possible, get the make, model and serial number of the laser unit. Note the positioning of the unit in relation to the sun or any other bright red or white light. LIDAR uses infrared light and does not work as well when aimed into infrared light sources like the sun or high beam headlights. Ask when the unit was last calibrated. Ask to see a demonstration of the calibration. The same notes apply for the RADAR gun. These however, are not tuned by forks.

YOU MUST MAKE NOTES AT THE SCENE. The officer certainly will. In court you may be asked if the notes were made while the events were still fresh in your mind. If you want to use the notes, then the answer must be a yes. Note the following:

The answers to any questions you asked the officer.
Any items you noted above.
Positions of OTHER CARS. You may be able to claim that he metered someone else, but stopped you (particularly lorries, since radar is good at locking into a larger object).
The weather conditions.
The time and date.
Your direction of travel and the source and destination.
The lane you were in and the name of the road, also the area.
The officer's direction of travel and lane, or note if he was parked.
A brief physical description of the officer so you recognize him in court. (PHOTO if possible)
Take the officer's number, and the unit number on his car.
If you were caught on a Camera.

The police MUST send you a notice of intended prosecution within 14 days.
If they do not, the case is a non-starter.

Preparing For Trial
Examine the ticket a few times. Look for mistakes on the ticket such as a wrong name, time, date, or location. If there are any, you should tell them to the Magistrate. Gather evidence, you should write to the police and ask for at least the following items:

Full copy of the Instruction manual for the RADAR/LIDAR device used.
Copy (both sides) of the calibration certificate.
Details of the training (copy of certificate if there is one) given to the officer in the use of the PARTICULAR device.

It is also recommended that you return to the scene and take pictures of the area, including any signs, which indicate the law. Make sure that your pictures are clear. DO NOT use a digital camera, as it may not be admissible (because you may have Photoshopped it…)

If the Crown Requests an Adjournment
An Adjournment is a postponement of the original trial date. The prosecution may ask for an adjournment because the officer cannot appear on the trial date, which was set. If possible DO NOT agree to this, tell the judge that you had to take a day off work to appear or something (try not to lie.)
Make note of any irregularities in the procedure in your statement to the judge. Irregularities include things such as the wrong ticket number printed on the notice, a silly reason for requesting adjournment (such as a planned holiday, which the police should have known about before setting the date), or receipt of the adjournment notice too close to the trial date. It is possible that if you protest the adjournment, it will be denied. In this case (no pun intended) the charges should be dropped since you can't have a case without the officer’s presence.

In Court
Check in with the prosecutor and usher and make sure you are on the case list, and that he knows you have appeared for trial. This is just to make your presence known, and hope that may offer a plea bargain at this point, which you could consider. He may not look for the officer. If he doesn't appear, the charges should be dropped. This is where it is handy to reference the physical description you should have taken at the scene. If the officer does appear he may approach you and ask to talk to you before the trial. You don't have to, but it is polite to. Ask him to withdraw the charge. He won't likely do that. DO NOT indicate your strategy to him, or show him any notes or pictures. Keep this stuff in a manila envelope or briefcase so that it is out of view prior to the actual trial.

Cross Examining the Officer

This is your chance to put your notes and pictures to work. Ask the officer questions about the day to establish whether he really remembers the incident and you. If he doesn't seem to, ask him directly whether he really remembers what happened that day. Destroying the officer’s credibility is an excellent way to get acquitted. Ask about the radar or lidar equipment. If the officer refused to demonstrate the calibration, ask why and demand to know if the unit was truly calibrated. Each situation is different, but you should be able to use your notes to develop a strategy, which insinuates that the equipment used to clock your speed was not accurate. If you achieve this you will be acquitted. Ask the officer about the laws in the area. This includes turn controls, signalling devices, speed limits, and so on. If he doesn't get it right, use your pictures of the area to prove that he is wrong. Showing that the officer does not understand the laws in effect in the area is another good way to reduce his credibility as a witness against you. You can try to go for the attack that the clocking may have been racially motivated. THIS IS VERY DANGEROUS and proceed with caution. If all goes well, you may make the officer lose his cool and throw a wobbly, this will drop his credibility. Or you may end up with a charge of contempt. Perhaps you could leave this approach out of the equation…

Courtesy and Appearance
Do not underestimate the impression of a shower, clean shave, haircut, and nice suit and tie at the trial. You will look more innocent in this type of dress, and your chance of acquittal or fine reduction will be improved. You must also be courteous to the judge and officers of the court. If you make the judge mad, you will be convicted, so don't make him/her mad.

Summary of Detection Methods
What do policemen use to detect speeders on the road?
Their primary method of detection is to use a laser gun. Being one of the newest technologies and unlike radar guns, a laser beam doesn't spread out much at all, so the police can pinpoint one car and get a precise reading on it. So, why don't police just use laser? You need a VERY steady hand to use a laser gun, because the beam travels so fast there and back and the computer calculates the speed based on perhaps a quarter second burst. So, if the policeman moves his arm so much as a millimetre while shooting the gun, and the beam moves to a point on the car that is closer or further away then the initial contact point, the reading will be totally off. Think about it, if a policeman were pointing the gun at a front licence plate that is 150 feet away, a tiny movement of his arm would move the beam to the windshield of the car. Because of these problems with laser, some courts in the USA have ruled that police cannot use laser for speed detection unless they can cross-reference their speed estimate by either a stopwatch or radar. Radar guns use 3 different bands, these are X, K, and Ka super wide. There isn't a huge difference in performance of any of these bands, they just use different frequencies. Even with all the new technologies out there, police still tend to rely on their radar guns, they are tried and true. They do have a number of drawbacks, however. The beam emitted from a radar gun spreads rapidly, which means it performs poorly in heavy traffic conditions. There are several other methods of detection the police may use. One of them is a speed trap such as Autovision, VASCAR, DS2 etc. in which a portion of road has been measured or had devices fitted in the tarmac, and when you enter the speed trap, the police start a timer, video or similar.... and they can calculate your speed based on how long it takes you to get through the speed trap. These can work very well. There's also photo radar, Gatso which may be built into traffic lights in medium to large size cities. The radar beam will calculate your speed, and snap a picture of your licence plate... and you'll get a ticket in the mail in 14 days.

Later Today:
Evasion Methods

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Monday, 14 May 2007

Avoiding The Speeding Ticket

Alrighty There People!

Slightly off topic again, but here goes... what happens when you get pulled for speeding? Try this...

What Must the Officer Do, and What Should You Do?
When you are being reported for speeding, the Police Officer must tell you that "you will be reported for consideration of the question of prosecuting you for exceeding the speed limit." It must either be given verbally or in writing at the time,or in writing within fourteen days or a summons be issued within fourteen days.Following this Notice of Intended Prosecution, he should then caution you by saying, "You do not have to say anything, but it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned, something you later rely on in Court. Anything youdo say may be given in evidence."Under Section 1 of the Road Traffic Offenders Act, 1988, section 1, it states, "A person shall not be convicted of an offence to which this section applies,(speeding, dangerous driving, careless driving, failing to conform to traffic lights,failing to conform to stop signs, continuous white lines in the middle of the road and other mandatory road signs) unless the Notice of Intended Prosecution was given."When being booked for speeding or any other offence, if possible switch on a tape recorder or Dictaphone so that you have a record of what the officer says. Be careful, some Police Forces do have the N.I.P. printed on the HO/RT/1 producer form or on specially printed forms for speeding offences.

How to Avoid Being NICKED When You Are Stopped
In a word: Act. However much you want to tell the police how crap his last manoeuvres were, you actually do this... Dependent on how bad the offence is, because remember, by the time he gets to your car he has pretty well made uphis or her mind what they will be doing. Try your utmost to make the officer truly believe that he has really got to your soul. He will always have a cautionary tale of something gruesome that just happens to have occurred right next to where you are. They make these lectures often. They want to feel that by telling you they can 'make a difference'. Make sureyou stop the very instant you know you are going to be stopped, be on the pavement looking seriously glum. If your licence has already has points on it, you are going to need talent.Go with the super-miserable, "Oh god, I of all blokes should know better by now..." If you can raise a Hollywood tear you are Oscar material. No matter how base, low and stupid it makes you feel, exult in the aftermath when you get a good tickingoff - but no ticket.
What To Do If Caught
Firstly, not enough people who are caught fight it in court, they simply accept it, get the points and pay the fine. If more than 10% fought the ticket the judicial system dealing with this would be overwhelmed and brought down on its knees. If in doubt, fight it. The worst thing that can happen is that you will be convicted of your original offence. You can get a heftier fine and more points in court, but unless you were doing silly speeds, it’s unlikely. Make the systems life HELL when fighting it. Remember it is going to cost the system a huge amount of money to prosecute you, in the officer's time, court'stime, prosecutor's time etc. The best thing you can do is make it worse. Here are some steps you can take.

What To Do At The Scene
It is critical that you start contesting your ticket at the scene of the alleged offence. You must judge the officer’s temperament and situation and decide for yourself. You are more likely to get let off by a normal officer (black hat, black uniform) than by a traffic officer (white hat, green overcoat). Remember, its a traffic cop's job to catch you, the normal cop probably does not want the added paperwork. If the officer asks you how fast you think you were going you can take one of three approaches:
1. You can deny it outright and tell him you weren't speeding, that you checked the speedometer. DO NOT get into an argument, but do not admit guilt. This is unlikely to prevent him from giving you a ticket, but you can tell judge at a trial that you were not speeding and you checked the speedometer, you can have the officer confirm that in your cross examination of him. This will serve to make your case stronger.

2. You can say that you are not sure, your mind was elsewhere. If he insists you were speeding, then sidestep by saying something like, "I guess I must have been otherwise you would not have stopped me." DO NOT admit guilt, this approach simply reiterates the officers accusation. This is difficult to use as evidence in court on both sides.

3. Be honest and admit guilt. If you are stopped by a traffic officer, then you are going to get a ticket anyway so this is a stupid approach. If it is a normal officer, you may get off for being honest. This approach relies on luck. Forget fighting it in court if you admit guilt.

NEVER admit guilt, even if you do not intend fighting it, none of the "I have aplane to catch", "I'm late for work", "My house is on fire," etc.All speed-pacing police cars have to have their Speedo's measured and certified. Only traffic police cars are done, and the Speedo will have increments of 1 mph's. If you are stopped by a non-traffic officer, and told that he/she followed you andyou were speeding, simply ask as a matter of course when his Speedo was last calibrated. It is likely he will let you go since normal police (Beat) cars do not have certified Speedo’s; theirs is the same as yours and mine.

NEVER surrender your licence at the roadside; you will get a chance to take it to a police station. Surrendering your licence at the roadside is an admission of guilt. Surrendering it at a police station later is just abiding by the law.
If you are given a ticket, study it carefully before leaving the scene. The officer will ask if you have questions about the ticket.

DO NOT get cocky at the scene, you have nothing against the police officer, he/she is only doing his/her job. It is the system that you want to fight.

TOMORROW...If You Were Caught on a Radar Gun

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Thursday, 10 May 2007

I HATE Used Car Dealers!

Alrighty There People!

This is kinda way off of my usual topic, but I wanted to have a bit of a rant so I thought that this would be the best place to do it.

I currently own a 2000 'X Reg' Nissan Almera 2.2SDi. It's quite a rare car really, there's not many diesel Almeras out there. It has got 82000 on the clock, and has been well looked after, and is in immaculate condition. However, due to the fact that my wife now wants to learn drive, and the fact that road tax is quite expensive, I want to downgrade my car, and benefit from cheaper tax and cheaper insurance.

Don't get me wrong, I love my Almera - I get 40+ miles to the gallon, and it's super fast. I've just had the Turbo sorted, and the car leaps away from the lights. I leave for smoke the boy racers and the BMWs, and the look on their faces is priceless. Anyway, back to my rant...

So I decided to go down the used car route. I thought about selling the car privately, but then thought it would be easier to part-ex it. I knew I'd get slightly less that way, but its less hassle too. You know, someone buys the car from me - I've got no wheels for a week, what am I gonna do? Part-ex it, and they say, "Cheers matey, we'll take that, you take this."

Anyway, after a bit of perusing the papers, I decided that I would go for a Ford Fiesta, 1.4 TDCi. Diesel, 60+mpg, cheap tax, cheap insurance. Right up my street. So I saw one with a national dealership - shall I name and shame? Not yet - a 2003 model, 5 door, silver, £5,199. But it had 71,000 miles on the clock. Now, don't get me wrong - I know that diesel's can go round the clock and still have va va voom - but 71k? That's been hammered in four years... So I thought it was a tad expensive.

Anyway, I saw another one, not a diesel, at a local branch of the dealership - Evans Halshaw - and I thought I might as well take a look, get a feel for the car. But I don't want a diesel.

So me and my wife traipse along to the dealership, where we get pounced on by the salesman, as expected. Now, I bought a car some years ago when Evans Halshaw was still Reg Vardy, and I knew their tricks. I knew what game we were about to play.

So the salesman saunters up to us and says, "Have you seen anything you like?"

"Well, I like the look of this one, but I want a diesel. But can I have the keys to have a look inside anyway, just to get a feel for the space?"

"Yes, certainly," and away he trots. I warn my wife of what is about to happen.

So he comes back with the keys, and we look around the car. It's smart, with light cream upholstery, maroon metallic paint, frong fogs, alloys, cd player - it's nice. But it's not a diesel.
He then asks us, ever so politely - why we want a diesel. I reply that I travel a lot - motorway driving - and rack up a high mileage. My current car gets me 40+mpg, but the Fiesta diesels get 60+. He acknowledged this. I asked what kind of economy the petrol Fiesta gets, and he called us into the office. He's thinking on his feet - drawing us into a trap. But he doesn't realise that we're purposefully striding into it. Hee hee.

We sit down, and he tells me that the petrol gets 40+ - the same as my current car. I point out to him - again - that the diesel gets 60+, and that over a year or two, that makes a huge difference. He agreed.

I asked him - and I quote - "Can you give me a ballpark figure of what the repayments would be on that one on the forecourt?"

So I asked for a BALLPARK figure for monthly payments on a five and a half grand car. At this point I'll mention that the offer on this car is 5 Years 0% Finance - I deal I would like to take up.

One major point I forgot to mention, which I'll throw in now. I had already been to the garage on Sunday and seen this car, and discussed it with my wife - we were seriously interested. But we wanted the garage to think that we weren't. Mwahaha.

So - "Can you give me a ballpark figure of what the repayments would be on that one on the forecourt?"

"Right. What's your name please?"

Excuse me? My name? Why do you need my name to give me a ballpark figure? I knew this game. I played along, and gave him my name.

He asked how much of a deposit I would want to put down. £100. He asked if I had a car I wanted to part-ex. Oh yeah. Now here comes the best part. He takes the details of the car, age, mileage, no outstanding finance, tax, test, blah blah blah. Then he asks for the keys, so that he can 'show his manager around the car'. I oblige.

They disappear, and I prepare my wife for their return. I said that they'll have a quick look at the car, mark down any blemishes on their sheet, and then go back to the office to talk football for five minutes whilst we look out of the window and develop fondness for a car that we don't want. Play on.

They return after a while - we're both pretty hungry at this point, it being 6.30pm and we not having eaten. The sales man returns, and starts to go through figures.

"Okay, so here we are - " he lists the spec of the car, which we already knew. Funnily, he skipped the part of it being petrol.

"Base price of the car, £5,500. Now we have some optional extras - we'll include this in the price, and anything that you want to take off you can, and the payments will be affected."

Now, we only want to pay £50.00 a month on finance - quite a slim figure. Let's see how this goes...

"Fuel - £20.00 - just so that we don't give you a car that you have to take straight to a petrol station." Hmmm. So why can't you just give us a FULL tank for free? We're spending over five grand here...

"Car floor mats - we give you them free!" Wow. Thanks. We bought our car mats from Wilkinsons for £7.99 and they're still going strong. Not much of a freebie there, is it.

"Total loss cover - £700.00. This is in case the car gets stolen or written off, and the insurance company will only give you market value - we'll make sure you get your £5,500 back." Hmmm. No. Don't want that.

"Pureguard - guaranteed to keep the exterior from fading for 6 years, and Scotchguard the interior. £599.99." He also muttered, almost under his breath, that it will only stop the car from fading provided that every month we wash the car with their own branded detergent. Which is probably £20.00 per bottle. I reckon I'll keep the car for 3 years max. Pureguard? Erm, no.

"Deposit - £99.00."

Here comes the best part:

"We'll give you £1600 for your car."

"£1600? Is that all?" My wife asked.

He looked at her sympathetically - thinking typical woman, doesn't know car. Sorry buddy, you're wrong.

"That's just market value - we'd take the car and that's all we'd get from an auction for it."

I speak up.

"But I've seen the same cars going, with higher mileage, for £3500 on Autotrader."

"Oh, well that's just silly, they'll never sell."

Uh huh.

"So, erm, how much were you wanting for yours?"

"Well I know I can sell it privately for £3000, so I was expecting at least £2,200 from yourselves."

"Like I said, we can only offer you current market value..."

Don't believe you!

Anyway, that worked out at £76.00 per month - way above our budget.

So my wife asks how that would change if we put in a £400 deposit - it knocked the price down by a tenner a month - still £15.00 over our agreed price range.

We said that we'd think about it, and perhaps try to sell ours privately. At that point the manager came over - the squeeze.

He asked us if we had been treated properly by his salesman. We said we had. He emphasised that they could only give us market value for our car, they were really sorry about this. I didn't buy his 'really sorry'. He even told us that although we were getting the car on 5 Years 0% Finance, THEY still had to pay interest. Awww, poor things!

He wanted us to lay down a deposit. He said that if we put a deposit down, we could try and sell ours privately, and increase the deposit. The car would be held for us, and worse case scenario, they'd take ours as part-ex at the end of the month. If we didn't sell and didn't want their deal? We'd lose our £100.00 deposit.

We stood up, said thanks, and walked away.

They didn't look too happy.

So, just to recap - we were looking for a car for £50 a month, a diesel fiesta. They offered us a petrol fiesta, initially for £76 a month, then for £66 a month, but they didn't budge on any of their figures.

Used Car Merchants - You Are A Rip Off!

My Almera is now for sale for £2699.00

I Hate Used Car Dealers!!!

Wednesday 9th May 2007

Alrighty There People!

First of all, my apologies. I forgot to take a picture of the scales. So I have no idea how much I weigh today. Sorry.

But, good news - I walked to and from work today! Took me 1 and a half hours in total, but really enjoying it - not stressing me out at all, and it's great.

I think that I did really well with my eating as well today - hardly any junk.

So anyway, here are today's incomings:

06:15 - Rice Krispies with semi skimmed milk


07:55 - 1 glass of water

08:50 - 1 glass of water

10:14 - 1 glass of water

11:05 - 1 glass of water

12:00 - 2 white bread rolls with Tuna and Cucumber

15:00 - 1 glass of water

16:00 - 1 plum

16:25 - 1 glass of water


17:45 - 2 Go Ahead bars

19:00 - Chicken Stir Fry with Rice

19:20 - Can of Coke

19:30 - Chocolate yogurt

22:30 - Glass of Red Wine

So that was my day. What do you think? Can of coke and chocolate yogurt were my only real bad bits. I'm happy with that intake, alongside the exercise. I'm feeling goo physically, and mentally too.

Rock On!

Until tomorrow,


The Dieting Man

Wednesday, 9 May 2007

Tuesday 8th May 2007

Alrighty There People!

Today was fantastic. Only two slip ups really, and not too bad at that!

First of all, I forgot to mention that I walked to work again on Friday, so that was twice last week. It takes about 45 minutes each way, and I listen to Chris Moyles on the way in and Scott Mills on the way out - cool.

Anyway, I'll be keeping that up this week, I'll be walking tomorrow (Wednesday) and Thursday. I just hope its not gonna rain!

Anyway, on to today's incomings:

07:30 - Rice Krispies with semi skimmed milk

08:30 - Glass of Water

10:00 - Glass of Water

10:50 - Hazelnut Yogurt

11:25 - Glass of Water

12:00 - 2 white bread finger rolls with tuna and cucumber

14:20 - Glass of Water

14:30 - Hazelnut Yogurt

15:50 - Glass of Water

16:20 - 1 plum

16:40 - 1 plum

17:45 - Pie, cabbage and boiled potatoes

17:50 - Glass of juice

18:10 - Thin slice of mint Vienetta

22:00 - Black coffee

22:20 - 3/4 bar of Smart Price Chocolate

So. Two pieces of fruit, two healthy low fat yogurts, a fair bit of water, two portions of veggies... and only a couple of naughty treats. Mind you, that ASDA Smart Price chocolate is delicious, and at only 25p a bar, it's great!

I forgot to weigh myself last night - what kind of hard core dieter am I? - so I will try and remember that tonight and post pictures of that tomorrow.

Until tomorrow,


The Dieting Man

Tuesday, 8 May 2007

The Bank Holiday Weekend

Alrighty There People!

Well, what can I say - I haven't been keeping track.

Star Wars Day was fantastic, I just felt good all day, and I didn't eat too badly. The weekend wasn't too bad either, but Bank Holiday Monday went pear shaped. McDonalds for lunch, Pizza Hut for dinner - what on earth was I thinking!

So it's now Tuesday morning, and I've got two rolls, two plums, two tangerines and two yogurts to last me throughout the day. I am NOT going to eat any junk, and I've told my colleagues that, and I am determined.

So check back tomorrow to see how I did!

Oh, and Clare, I'll check my weight tonight, and post a picture of what the scales say!

Until tomorrow,


The Dieting Man

Friday, 4 May 2007

Thursday, 3 May 2007

Wednesday 2nd May 2007

Alrighty There People!

One word for you - EXERCISE! Yeah baby, rock on. I only went and walked to work today! And, obviously, home again! Now, I took a different route, and it took me about 40 minutes each way, so I'm pretty pleased with that. Stuff the recommended 30 minutes of everyday sport - try 1 hour 20! Rock on. So over the moon with myself for that one. I'm gonna do it again on Friday - in fact, I'm going to do it every Wednesday and Friday this month. Your support would be much - like, really much - appreciated.

Anyway, on to todays incomings:

06:15 - Crunchy Nut Cornflakes with Semi skimmed milk

07:00 - EXERCISE - Walk to Work - 40 minutes

08:05 - 1 glass of water

09:35 - 1 glass of water

10:31 - 1 glass of water

12:15 - 3 small rolls - tuna and cucumber

12:30 - KitKat

12:45 - 2 Go Ahead bars

13:10 - 1 glass of water

14:00 - 1 glass of water

15:00 - 1 glass of water

16:00 - 1 biscuit

17:20 - EXERCISE - Walk Home - 40 minutes

18:10 - Fried chicken, potato stars, peas

18:40 - 1 biscuit

21:00 - Hot chocolate

23:00 - 1 biscuit

I also ate a packet of smarties throughout the day :)

Well, I don't think that I did too bad today - it could have been better, and I do want to improve. Watch this space to see me improve - I'll post some pics soon!

Until tomorrow,


The Dieting Man

Tuesday 1st May 2007

Alrighty There People!

Well, I can't understand it. I've lost my takings sheet for Monday! I know I did well as well. Hmmm. I'll have a hunt around and if I find it, I'll post it.

How's this for a new idea? Thinking of standing on the scales each day, taking a picture, and uploading it. What do you think of that?? I think I'm putting more weight on than I'm taking off, which is really discouraging.

At the weekend, I was out in the garden mowing the lawn, which had grown to astronomical proportions. So I spent about 4 hours in the garden doing vigourous work, for which I was suffering on Sunday...

Anyway, on to today's takings, which I am sure you are keen to peruse...:

07:30 - Rice Krispies with Semi Skimmed milk

08:30 - 1 glass of water

10:00 - Blue Ribband

10:15 - 1 biscuit

10:30 - 1 glass of water

11:00 - 2 Go Ahead bars

11:40 - 1 glass of water

12:00 - 2 Brown bread rolls, with Dairy Lea, Cheese and Cucumber... nice!

12:10 - KitKat

12:30 - Hazelnut yogurt

15:00 - Kinder Bar

15:10 - 1 glass of water

18:00 - Potatoes, pastie, carrots, broccolli and cauliflower

18:20 - Chocolate yogurt

18:30 - 1 pint of diluted orange juice

21:00 - 1 packet of Smarties

21:30 - 1 hot chocolate

Looking back over today, I would say that it was really really bad. Terrible, in fact. Ooops. I need to cut back on fats, sugars, and junk, and concentrate on healthy food, fruit, and exercise. The flab will come off!

Until tomorrow,


The Dieting Man

Wednesday, 2 May 2007

Friday 27 April 2007

Alrighty There People!

Well, I must admit, it's Wednesday now, and I can't fully recall everything that I had on Friday...

So here goes:

07:30 - Rice Krispies with semi skimmed milk

08:30 - 1 glass of water

09:30 - 1 glass of water

09:50 - Blue Ribband

11:01 - 1 glass of water

12:20 - Cheese and cucumber in a french bread stick... mmmm....

13:20 - Hazelnut Yogurt

14:20 - 1 glass of water

14:25 - 2 Go Ahead bars

15:08 - 1 glass of water

16:23 - 1 glass of water

17:16 - 2 plums

21:00 - Pasta

I can't really remember much else, apart from watching Prison Break. So...

Until tomorrow,


The Dieting Man

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