I doubt I have any regular readers of this blog, sporadic as it is.
Perhaps I am posting this here as a reminder to myself, to get my act together, to lose weight.
I have a new regime.
Every night, at about 10pm, I turn on the PlayStation. I put in the disc for FIFA 08, and load up my manager career.
I’m doing quite well. I’m in the second year of managing Sunderland AFC. I came first in the Premiership last year, and I’m currently top of the league with 24 points.
Last night I beat Bolton Wanderers 6-0.
Oh, and during the match, I cycled. I cycled hard.
In the 17 and a half minutes from starting the match, to the end of the match when my midfielder, Carlos Edwards, was announced man of the match, I had cycled four and a half miles.
After this, groggy, sweaty, and slightly unbalanced, I climbed off of my exercise bike, pushed it out of the way, turned off the PS3, and dragged my Wii Fit Balance Board out from under the TV.
Grabbing a Wii Remote, I turned on the system, and loaded up Wii Fit. It’s about the only game I play on the Wii nowadays. No, wait, it IS the only game I play on the Wii. The last time I played Mario Galaxy was about a month after it was released.
Anyway, so I go onto Wii Fit, and the slightly-creepy-yet-also-adorable-but-I’ll-kill-it-if-I-get-the-chance Wii Balance Board floppy character greets me.
No, I don’t want to hear a fitness tip, I want to do my daily test and see if I’ve gained or lost weight. That’s all that matters, isn’t it?
So I have to wait whilst the board warms up. No, I can’t get on yet. Yes, I can get on now. What am I wearing – nothing. Oooh, great, creepy voices telling me that it is measuring me. Yay.
Then the moment of truth. Will I have lost weight? My previous BMI, taken just last week, was 34.14. Yesterday, my BMI was 34.18. I had marginally put on weight – a miniscule amount. I still need to lose weight. What do I weigh at the moment? I can’t even remember. I think it’s the top end of 13 stone. I know I want to be down to 12 stone. I need to try harder. I must put more effort into this.
But this is my regime. Twenty minutes on the exercise bike. Pummel my opponents on FIFA 08. Jump on the Wii Fit board, maybe do a few exercises. Try and be a bit more careful in what I eat. Try and lose weight.
I am the Dieting