Monday, 11 June 2007

How to Keep the IT Team Happy

Alrighty There People!

I couldn't help post this - I thought it was hilarious. I can so relate to all of these - I bet you can too. It's amazing how (to put it blatantly) dumb some people are.


How to Keep the IT Team Happy

When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a tonne of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and your children's school drawings. We don't have a life, and we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of yours.

Don't write anything down. Ever. We can play back the error messages from here.

When an IT technician says he's coming right over, go for coffee. That way, you won't be there when we need your password. It's nothing for us to remember 700 screen saver passwords.

When you call the help desk, state what you want, not what's keeping you from getting it. We don't need to know that you can't get into your email because your computer won't power on at all.

When IT Support sends you an email with high importance, delete it at once. We're just testing.

When an IT person is eating lunch at his desk, walk right in and spill your guts out. We exist only to serve.

Send urgent mail all in UPPERCASE. The mail server picks it up and flags it as a rush delivery.

When the photocopier doesn't work, call Computer Support. There's electronics in it.

When an IT person tells you that computer screens do not have cartridges in them, argue. We love a good argument.

When the printer won't print, resend the job at least 20 times. Print jobs frequently get sucked into black holes.

When the printer still won't print after 20 attempts, send the job to all 68 printers in the company. One of them is bound to work.

Don't learn the proper terminology for anything technical. We know exactly what you mean by "My thingy doesn't work."

Don't use online help. Online help is for wimps.

Great stuff. Who'd be in IT support, eh? If you've got any of your own to add, please do. These are a selection from The Laughter File.


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