Alrighty There People!
I couldn't help post this - I thought it was hilarious. I can so relate to all of these - I bet you can too. It's amazing how (to put it blatantly) dumb some people are.
Enjoy.
How to Keep the IT Team Happy
When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a tonne of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and your children's school drawings. We don't have a life, and we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of yours.
Don't write anything down. Ever. We can play back the error messages from here.
When an IT technician says he's coming right over, go for coffee. That way, you won't be there when we need your password. It's nothing for us to remember 700 screen saver passwords.
When you call the help desk, state what you want, not what's keeping you from getting it. We don't need to know that you can't get into your email because your computer won't power on at all.
When IT Support sends you an email with high importance, delete it at once. We're just testing.
When an IT person is eating lunch at his desk, walk right in and spill your guts out. We exist only to serve.
Send urgent mail all in UPPERCASE. The mail server picks it up and flags it as a rush delivery.
When the photocopier doesn't work, call Computer Support. There's electronics in it.
When an IT person tells you that computer screens do not have cartridges in them, argue. We love a good argument.
When the printer won't print, resend the job at least 20 times. Print jobs frequently get sucked into black holes.
When the printer still won't print after 20 attempts, send the job to all 68 printers in the company. One of them is bound to work.
Don't learn the proper terminology for anything technical. We know exactly what you mean by "My thingy doesn't work."
Don't use online help. Online help is for wimps.
Great stuff. Who'd be in IT support, eh? If you've got any of your own to add, please do. These are a selection from The Laughter File.
DIGG THIS!
Showing posts with label help. Show all posts
Showing posts with label help. Show all posts
Monday, 11 June 2007
Wednesday, 6 June 2007
9 Ways To Reduce Your Carbon Footprint in The Reprographics Room
Alrighty There People!
Well, there is a lot of hype at the moment with our carbon footprint - and we all need to be doing our bit to help the environment. So, I've put together this list - 9 Ways to Be Reduce Your Carbon Footprint in the Reprographics Room - to help us all be that little bit more considerate to our environment:
1. Use Recycled paper:
Don’t spend a fortune on HP or Xerox branded paper – buy recycled! The quality of recycled paper nowadays is excellent, and it obviouslybenefits the environment.
2. Do Copies Back to Back:
You know that ten page document that you are about to make ten copies of? Instead of using 100 sheets of paper, do it back to back, and you’ll only use 50. That’s HALF! Your paper stock will last much longer.
3. Make Sure Paperwork is Correct BEFORE Photocopying:
You rush to the photocopier with that urgent document, and punch in 50 copies. As you’re running back to your boss’ desk with it, you realise that the title is wrong. A few moments to check the document properly will prevent this type of waste – of time, money, and vital resources.
4. Any Paper that Gets Jammed – Dump It In The Recycle Box:
We all know that photocopiers jam from time to time – okay, okay, they’re jammed more often than when they’re working! But instead of furiously dumping the crumpled paper in the bin, furiously dump it in the RECYCLE bin. You know it makes sense.
5. Lighten the Contrast on the Photocopy:
Does the copy really need to be as dark as that? Lightening the copy by just 25% will make your cartridges last longer – no, I don’t know how much longer, just longer. It’s obvious…
6. Recycle Your Toner Cartridges:
When you’re done with it, put it in a toner collection box. If you work in a big office, it will fill amazingly quickly. Then someone will come and collect it, and work magic with it so that it saves the environment…
7. Turn Off The Photocopier After Use:
What if you are the last person to use the photocopier today, and it’s only 2 o’clock? Are you going to leave it on for the next 3 or four hours, until the cleaners turn it off? Think of the energy that the machine is using up! Don’t be a muppet - Turn It Off!
8. Turn Off Lights When Leaving the Room:
If there’s no one else in the room, turn the lights off! Chances are there is enough light from the windows anyway, and if not, the next user will turn them back on… Let’s just hope that THEY remember to turn them off when they leave… Can you see the nice pattern developing here?
9. Do You REALLY Need to Photocopy???
You’ve already sent the email to everybody – they’ll bring a copy to the meeting – don’t photocopy it. You’re just not helping the environment…
Remember - if we all do our bit, it will help.
DIGG THIS!
Well, there is a lot of hype at the moment with our carbon footprint - and we all need to be doing our bit to help the environment. So, I've put together this list - 9 Ways to Be Reduce Your Carbon Footprint in the Reprographics Room - to help us all be that little bit more considerate to our environment:
1. Use Recycled paper:
Don’t spend a fortune on HP or Xerox branded paper – buy recycled! The quality of recycled paper nowadays is excellent, and it obviouslybenefits the environment.
2. Do Copies Back to Back:
You know that ten page document that you are about to make ten copies of? Instead of using 100 sheets of paper, do it back to back, and you’ll only use 50. That’s HALF! Your paper stock will last much longer.
3. Make Sure Paperwork is Correct BEFORE Photocopying:
You rush to the photocopier with that urgent document, and punch in 50 copies. As you’re running back to your boss’ desk with it, you realise that the title is wrong. A few moments to check the document properly will prevent this type of waste – of time, money, and vital resources.
4. Any Paper that Gets Jammed – Dump It In The Recycle Box:
We all know that photocopiers jam from time to time – okay, okay, they’re jammed more often than when they’re working! But instead of furiously dumping the crumpled paper in the bin, furiously dump it in the RECYCLE bin. You know it makes sense.
5. Lighten the Contrast on the Photocopy:
Does the copy really need to be as dark as that? Lightening the copy by just 25% will make your cartridges last longer – no, I don’t know how much longer, just longer. It’s obvious…
6. Recycle Your Toner Cartridges:
When you’re done with it, put it in a toner collection box. If you work in a big office, it will fill amazingly quickly. Then someone will come and collect it, and work magic with it so that it saves the environment…
7. Turn Off The Photocopier After Use:
What if you are the last person to use the photocopier today, and it’s only 2 o’clock? Are you going to leave it on for the next 3 or four hours, until the cleaners turn it off? Think of the energy that the machine is using up! Don’t be a muppet - Turn It Off!
8. Turn Off Lights When Leaving the Room:
If there’s no one else in the room, turn the lights off! Chances are there is enough light from the windows anyway, and if not, the next user will turn them back on… Let’s just hope that THEY remember to turn them off when they leave… Can you see the nice pattern developing here?
9. Do You REALLY Need to Photocopy???
You’ve already sent the email to everybody – they’ll bring a copy to the meeting – don’t photocopy it. You’re just not helping the environment…
Remember - if we all do our bit, it will help.
DIGG THIS!
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