Wednesday, 3 August 2011

Special K Diet: Monday's Report

Some people hate Monday. Beginning of the working week, back to the grind, same old same old... Not me. I relish Monday mornings. For me, every Monday is a fresh start, the beginning of a new week in which something glorious is bound to happen. Maybe I'll make it big. Maybe my books will soar to Harry Potter-esque proportions. Maybe my waistline will slimto Matt Damon like proportions... Pipedreams? Maybe, but still: I love Monday.

This particular Monday got off to a cracking start. I'd had a good sleep, I was fresh and full of vigour, and it was warm, even for half six in the morning.

I had my bowl of Special K with skimmed milk, checked my favourite websites, and got ready for work.

I had my half-past-eight-mid-morning snack, and consumed a bottle of water.

At lunchtime I settled down with my Special K and skimmed milk, and Wife had bought me a fruit salad from ASDA. It contained a few slices of apple, about five strawberries, and a handful of grapes. I enjoyed it.

I had loads of time to kill, so I wandered down the road to ASDA. I browsed the latest DVD releases, pondered over whether or not to get the Fast and Furious blu ray boxset, and checked out the PS3 games. My trip to ASDA was a display of a serious lack of judgement. My eyes were drawn to the bottles of Frijj on offer for just 50p, and I bought one. I also bought a big bag of ASDA'S own M&M's, which I know taste like drops of summer on a blade of grass.

I paid for my forbidden goods, and wandered out of the store. I opened the bottle of Frijj and inhaled the gorgeous aroma of chocolate milkshake. I raised the bottle to my lips, and poured the thick liquid down my throat. Ah, the chilled shake glugged down into my stomach and felt sol nice. Cheesh, my mouth's watering just writing this. I knew I shouldn't be drinking it, but it was fantastic. I'd finished the bottle before I'd even cleared the car park.

I went back out to work, and munched my way through the chocolates. Again, so wrong, but so nice.

I knew I had to work it off, so that night I blasted away on the bike for twenty minutes and then danced to James Brown and It's Raining Men. Embarrassingly, I wasn't embarrassed.

I accrued just shy of the 1000 daily sweatpoints. I powered up Wii Fit, and weighed in. Bang on 14 stone. Damn. More work, less snacks.

I'll try harder.

The Dieting Man.

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