Tuesday, 8 January 2008

10 Things You Must Do This Year

Okay, so we're into the second week of January already. I bet that those New Year's Resolutions you've made are flagging already, aren't they? Come on, I bet you had a cigarette at the weekend. Or some alcohol, but just a little bit. Stopped exercising already? Or reached for the crisps yet?

I thought as much.

Never mind. This is a list of things that, if you haven't yet done in your life, you need to do them. This year.

And you may need to start planning now...

Now before we start, I just want to reassure you that this is a unisex list, intended for males and females, but certain age restrictions may apply in your country. Or you could just break the law, but I'm not recommending that, and it isn't on the list.

So, in no particular order:

1. Break a Bone:
Come on, loads of people have broken bones, and they've always got fantastic stories to tell about them.

"Oh, that scar? Yeah, I fell out of a tree when I was nine. Landed in a cow pat. Then a pitchfork fell on me. Then got run over by a tractor. Yeah, broke my arm."

How cool! Me? I've never broken a bone. So no stories to tell. How boring. Break a bone? Painful but definitely on the list.

2. Go On A Plane:
Flying is great. Forget all the terrorist threats, it's not that likely that your plane will crash, burn, explode or be hijacked. It's highly likely that it will be delayed though, but that's life. Flying is dirt cheap nowadays, and you don't need to go far - just hop onto a flight from one part of your country to another.

3. Drive A Car:
Driving is fantastic. For those that drive everyday, to work and back, and think it's boring, you need to inject some life into your driving. Hire a Subaru Imprezza, take out maximum insurance, and take it rallying into the woods somewhere. Man, that'll inject life into your driving! If you've never driven before, book a lesson. If you can't afford that, ask a friend to let them drive your car around a supermarket car park late at night. And if you're too young to drive, try the next best thing: Karting. Yeah, you gotta drive something. Man, what a rush.

4. Watch the Sunrise:
Not much of an adrenaline rush, but certainly an awe-inspiring one. And I don't just mean get up early, open your curtains, and say, "Yay, sun, another day." I mean get up really early, go out into the country, and watch the beautiful birth of a day. Feel the coldness of the night disappear as the sun's warm rays touch your awe-filled body. Fantastic.

5. Stay Up 24 Hours:
You could tie this one in with watching the sunrise. Staying up 24 hours isn't that exciting, but it's great to say that you've done it. I did it once - I went on a 6 hour bus ride, toured London for about 14 hours, then had another 6 hour bus ride home, all without sleeping. I was wrecked, but I've got great stories from it. It just has to be done. So do it in 2008.

6. Buy a Hot Gadget:
So last year was all about the PS3, Xbox 360, Nintendo Wii and, what was the other one - oh yeah, the iPhone. Have you got any of those? Have you got all of those? What's going to be the hot, must have, totally unavailable gadget this year? I don't know yet, but you'd better make sure that you get one.

BONUS: If you have to camp outside a store overnight to be in the queue for said item – even better.

7. Throw A Sickie:
Try and do this one without combining it with something else on this list... You know when you wake up, and that overwhelming feeling of dread comes over you? Because you need to go to work. So you start doing a self examination, and realise, despairingly, that you are fine. Healthy. Great. Fit to go. But you don't want to. So lie on your bed, with your head hanging towards the floor, and phone your boss. You'll sound convincingly ill, and bingo! You've just thrown a sickie. Rock on. Now don't get caught shopping.

8. Recycle Something:
Okay, now in this age of carbon footprints and global warming, what are you doing to do your bit? Well, how about you start with recycling. Don't chuck that paper in a bin - put it in a recycling bin. Paper, cans, tins, glass, plastic, grass, whatever it is - just recycle something. More tips here...

9. Go Incommunicado:
How many times a day do you check your email? Check your phone for missed calls or texts? MSN? Reddit? Digg? Deli.cio.us? Come on, you know it - you're a communication freak. So what you need to do - for a full 24 hours - is turn off your phone(s), your computer, your TV - in fact, you may even need to seal up your (physical) mailbox. Of course, real life communication is fine - this is a ban on electronic comms. Try it. See how you feel. See if you survive.

10. Go Commando:
Ah, now I bet some of you thought that this was what I meant by the previous item. I didn't then. I do now. So try. It's exhilarating. Or so I'm told...

Anything to add?

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