The Dieting Man: Here’s How It Is

Okay, so last week was a bit manic, and things didn't go according to plan. The whole world was against me starting my new regime of dieting and exercise - including electronics failing on me, friends inviting me out, and, most of all, my own lack of self discipline.

The weekend was fuelled with going out with friends and gorging on lasagne, pizza, chocolate, wine, fizzy drinks, nuts, cakes - oh my word it was a gluttonous fest. I loved it. No, wait, I didn't. Aaaargh I'm so confused.

Anyway, I decided that Monday I would start afresh. Cut down on my intake, increase my exercise from nil to something, and monitor the progress. I’m sick of seeing all these “I Got Ripped in 4 Weeks” ads – they all look really, really fake – are they even the same people? – but I want to slim myself down.

Well, I started monitoring anyway... This is what I took in, foodwise:

Breakfast:
1 glass of water

Mid morning:
1 glass of water
Alpen cereal bar (Fruit, nut, chocolate)

Lunch:
3 finger rolls with liver pate and lettuce

Afternoon:
Cadbury's Boost
Handful of grapes
Apple

Early Evening:
1 Chocolate yogurt

Dinner:
2 slices of Margherita pizza
1 jacket potato with cheese
1 glass of water
Little tub of (3) Profiteroles

Later On...
50g plain chocolate
500g Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie

So, there was some good in there, and some very, very bad. A full tub of Ben and Jerry's? Naughty. What's worse, though, is that I know that there is another one in the freezer. That's what happens when ASDA does a "2 for £3" deal. Damn them.

I tried to increase my portions of fruit intake, again from nil - I managed two of my five a day. That's okay, I guess.

Exercise? Yeah, that didn't happen. But I've got a (fairly) legitimate excuse - I've got this awful pain in my side - feels like I've been broadsided by a truck. In actual fact, I think that I've been 'kneed' in my side by my wife when asleep, but, naturally, she's denying all knowledge of it.

Anyway, I did put on the Wii, just to get an overview of where I am and what I need to do. Here's the results:

Days since last on Wii Fit: 107 (oops!)
Current Weight: 13.13 stone (approx 183lbs)
Change since last session: +7lbs
BMI: 33.23 (Extremely Obese)

I've set a goal of losing 3lbs every week for the next 6 months - I want to lose a stone and a half (around 24lbs).

Okay, so again, a quick overview - I'm going to try to keep to this format of overview regularly:
Exercise:
Type / Length of time:
NA / 00:00

Fruit intake:
2 / 5

It looks like I've got a lot of work to do, and a lot of self-discipline will be needed. I'm going to need to seriously cut down on junk food intake, increase fruit and veg intake, and do exercise. The plan is to do twenty minutes on the exercise bike daily, and then half an hour of activities on Wii Fit.

That was Monday. This is Tuesday. I am the Dieting Man. I WILL SUCCEED!

Your support would be very much appreciated.

I Need to Lose Weight. Now.

It's been a while since I updated this blog. Main reason being, I've not been losing, nor trying to lose, weight.

But last night, something happened. I noticed. I noticed that, although I had been losing weight in recent months, I am now gaining weight. Rapidly, I fear. I feel fat. I look fat. I am fat.

This hit me like a tonne of bricks. I decided, there and then, that I need to cut down on my food intake, and increase my (virtually nil) exercise regime.

Here's the plan:
Restart my daily monitoring of food intake
Cut out coffee, in which I have two sugars
Only drink water every day
Cut down on chocolate and sweets
Go on Wii Fit every day for half an hour
Do some other form of exercise daily - possibly cycling - for another half hour
Keep records of all of the above
Take a weekly photo to see how I'm doing
Blog daily with progress reports

That is all. Support is more than welcome!

NB - I did try to go on the Wii last night, but batteries - for both the Wii mat and the Wii-mote - were dead. The batteries are on charge, I'll be on it tonight...

The Dieting Man

An Opportunity...

Okay, I've got a proposition for you.

I'm going on holiday in July, to the (hopefully) sunny country of Italy. I'm staying in Pisa for a week - so will be visiting that most famous monument, the leaning tower.

I'll also be visiting Florence, Rome and possibly Verona.

I've managed to get a fairly good deal on flights - £330 return for the two of us. The hotel we managed to get cheaper by shopping around online, but it's still a bit pricey. I haven't yet sorted car hire, but I'm reckoning that's going to cost a couple of hundred. All in all, with flights, hotel, car hire, food and miscellaneous expenses - not to mention clothes that will need to be purchased before
departure - it's going to be quite expensive to fund this holiday in these credit crunching, recessive times.

But that's where my cunning plan, involving YOU, comes into play.

You see, I'm looking for sponsorship.

Let me spell it out to you:

You sponsor me to wear a piece of clothing with your brand name, logo, slogan, web address, whatever, on it, and I will do so, for £75.00 a day.

I'm going to have to limit this to hats and shorts though, as I can't guarantee I will keep a T shirt on in the sweltering heat of summertime Italy.

Here's the terms and conditions:

I WILL NOT promote:
Gambling companies
Sex industry companies
Tobacco companies

I am not willing to have any tattoos: permanent or temporary.

I will not wear any clothing with profanity, lewd themes or suggestive images/logos/slogans.

I may turn down your offer (with plenty of advance notice) due to personal preferences.

YOU must provide the item of clothing with all of your company details on it - I will not print anything onto it.

You must provide payment before departure.

Departure is late July – we will be leaving on a Sunday and returning on a Sunday.

I will wear your item(s) of clothing for one day of the holiday (or more if you pay me such - but you must provide extra clothing, I don't want to be smelly!)

As we do not yet have an itinerary planned, I cannot tell you yet on what days I am going to what attractions/cities etc. That will depend on the weather out there and what we feel like doing.

I will provide multiple photographic evidence of wearing your branded clothes - however, depending on internet availability may not be able to upload these on a daily basis.

Remember, I will be seen in densely populated areas - such as Newcastle airport, Pisa airport, the Leaning Tower of Pisa, and quite possibly - but I can't guarantee it - Rome and Verona.

If you are seriously interested in this unique, fun and inspirational piece of marketing for your business, leave a comment.

Any questions?

The Dieting Man.

PS - I've lost quite a bit of weight lately - that's down to eating less, doing more activity and going on Wii Fit. It really does work!

Why Cloning's Not Such a Good Idea...

So a colleague and I were talking today about cloning. We were saying how wonderful it would be if we could get cloned, and send our clone to work. But then it hit me, like the Titanic hitting that iceberg - it would be counter productive. It would actually cost us MORE.

Here's why:

A clone is another mouth to feed. Unless we're talking robots, which don't need feeding, but we're not, we're talking living, breating, real life clones. So when we send them to work, we need to provide them with food, which costs money. And what are we doing whilst our clones are working? Stuff. Shopping, driving, site-seeing, spending. Spending money that we wouldn't be spending whilst we are at work. So clones are a bad idea. Apart from for alibis. Then they're a good idea...

Ten Gifts for Under a Tenner...

Are you looking for a little extra present for someone? Something not too dear, perhaps maybe a bit quirky, a bit retro? Something fun, whatever the age or gender?

Well here's a list of ten items that you can get, all under one roof, for under a tenner...


1 Top Gear Top Trumps
For those who love the series, there's got to be nothing better than a game of Top Trumps using official Top Gear merchandise. Absolutely fantastic!




2 Sonic Grenade
I've never had one of these, and if you get one for someone, you're going to make some enemies... Pull the pin on this grenade, and subject someone to a deafening explosion of noise. The worst part? It won't turn on until you put the pin back in. My ear drums are aching already...




3 20Q
I've got one of these, and they are absolutely fantastic. First you'll be amazed, then you'll be intrigued... then you'll get frustrated at how accurate it can be. True, it doesn't ALWAYS get it right... but when it does, you'll be scratching your head in a show of genuine confusement...




4 Pocket Mini Helicopter (Blue)
I've always wanted one of these - a fantastic, tiny little remote controlled helicopter. So make someone's day (pick me, pick me!), and chuck one of these in your basket.




5 Rubik's Cube
The Rubik's cube is an amazing gift which will have people in quiet concentration for hours - I should know, I've got one on my desk. Thing is, it even comes with instructions that tell you the technique to solve it - but it doesn't help. Well, not me anyway...



6 Aurora Colour Changing Clock
A funky little number, this one - it has twelve colours - one for each hour (on a am/pm cycle). It looks great, and would be a great gift for him or her...



7 Retro Hopper
Have you been on one of these? Recently? I have. How much fun!!! And careful - they do bounce quite well! Certainly, getting someone one of these will bring back many memories - and if you are getting it for a youngster, it will create many memories for them. Classic!



8 Keyfinder Keyring
One of the most useful devices ever created. You know the feeling, you're running late, you're dashing out the door - but then you can't find your car keys. Don't bother hunting all over for them - simply whistle, and the keyring will start bleeping. SORTED!



9 Catapult - The Super Sling Shot Catapult
Everyone loves catapults. 'Nuff said.



10 Retro Magic Spring
I had one of the rainbow plastic ones as a kid - but this is so much better. Give this to someone, and they'll be on the stairs for an hour!



BONUS: The Laughter File
The Laughter File is a fantastic joke book with over 200 jokes in 9 different categories. I've got a copy, so have loads of people I know. Get one, it's great.

Could This Be The Solution to the UK Fuel Crisis?

Okay, so we realise that the price of fuel is going up and up and up – with one garage today that I passed offering diesel for the astonishing price of 134.9 pence per litre.

But what can be done about it? There are constantly talks of strikes, walkouts, panic buying and garages running out of fuel.



Here’s one suggestion that I found interesting, but not sure if it would do anything. This came by email, and the intention is to send it ‘to everyone in your contacts list’. But that’s always the intention, isn’t it...



“This makes MUCH MORE SENSE than the "don't buy petrol on a certain day" campaign that was going around last April or May! The oil companies just laughed at that because they knew we wouldn't continue to hurt ourselves by refusing to buy fuel. It was more of an inconvenience to us than it was a problem for them.



BUT, whoever thought of this idea has come up with a plan that can really work. Please read it and join in! Now that the oil companies and the OPEC nations have conditioned us to think that the cost of a litre is CHEAP, we need to take aggressive action to teach them that BUYERS control the marketplace, not sellers. With the price of petrol going up more each day, we consumers need to take action.



The only way we are going to see the price of fuel come down is if we hit someone in the pocket by not purchasing their fuel! And we can do that WITHOUT hurting ourselves.

Here's the idea:

For the rest of this year, DON'T purchase ANY fuel from the two biggest oil companies (which now are one), ESSO and BP. If they are not selling any fuel, they will be inclined to reduce their prices. If they reduce their prices, the other companies will have to follow suit. But to have an impact, we need to reach literally millions of ESSO and BP fuel buyers. It's really simple to do!!

Now, don't wimp out on me at this point... keep reading and I'll explain how simple it is to reach millions of people!! I am sending this note to a lot of people. If each of you send it to at least ten more (30 x 10 = 300)... and those 300 send it to at least ten more (300 x 10 = 3,000)... and so on, by the time the message reaches the sixth generation of people, we will have reached over THREE MILLION consumers! If those three million get excited and pass this on to ten friends each, then 30 million people will have been contacted! If it goes one level further, you guessed it... THREE HUNDRED MILLION PEOPLE!!!


Again, all you have to do is send this to 10 people.That's all. (Oh, and not buy at ESSO/BP) How long would all that take? If each of us sends this email out to ten more people within one day of receipt, all 300 MILLION people could conceivably be contacted within the next 8 days!!! I'll bet you didn't think you and I had that much potential, did you! Acting together we can make a difference. If this makes sense to you, please pass this message on.


PLEASE HOLD OUT UNTIL THEY LOWER THEIR PRICES TO THE 69p A LITRE RANGE

It's easy to make this happen. Just copy and paste this in to an email then forward it to everyone you know, and buy your fuel at Shell, Asda, Tesco, Sainsbury's, Morrison's, Jet etc. i.e. boycott BP and ESSO.”

So. That is the idea that someone passed on to me. Will it work? I have no idea. What do you think?

If you liked this, please Digg It now:

Fuel: $8.43 per Gallon!

Before you start panic buying, let's just calm down a minute: That's the price that I paid here in the UK last week. So, relax.

But let's just analyse this.

My car's a Ford Fiesta, 1.4 TDCi. Yup, it's a diesel, and yup, it's really economical. But, I put in £20.00 on Saturday - that's the $39.64, which equates to 17.87 litres, or 4.7 gallons. Or $8.43 per Gallon. Which, might I add, is only half a tank.

Now, I spend approximately £20.00 per week on fuel - which means that during the month of April, I will be putting approximately £100.00 (roughly $200.00), and 89.35 litres of fuel, or 23.5 gallons, into the tank of my car. Which is a phenonmenal amount.

When I first started driving, fuel cost approximatly 69.9 pence per litre. Now it averages at around 105.9 pence per litre. That's a massive jump in seven years. My first car (1.1 Ford Fiesta with a petrol engine) would cost me around £32.00 to fill the tank. The last time I filled the tank, I paid £49.00.

So what's the moral of this tale?

Not sure really.

I guess it's that I pay far too much for my fuel.

I guess it's that those in the States that say that they have high fuel prices don't really know what high fuel prices are.

I guess I'm just having a rant.

Maybe I need a hybrid...